You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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