We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
