WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
