Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
