he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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