so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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