so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
