Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Vodka?
Forever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
