I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
