like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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