I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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