I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
