how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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