We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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