But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
