Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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