It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
