I'm so fucking centered right now
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
