im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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