i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
