yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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