i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
