remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
