That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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