i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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