i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
