What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
