I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
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I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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