we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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