I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
