Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
