her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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