I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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