just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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