I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
