so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
