Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
