You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
