I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
