You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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