i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
