four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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