when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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