my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
