I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
