Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize