He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Two words: nipple clamps
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