I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
