You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
