I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
