There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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