this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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