At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
