dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
