He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
