I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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