Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
