Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
