For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
