I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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