today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
