Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
