Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
