I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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